A Non-Fan’s Guide to Supporting the Hockey Nut in Your Life
For those of us who are hardcore hockey fans, it seems obvious as to why someone would go to great lengths to support their team. Wearing matching clothing with your friends while you drink excessive amounts of alcohol and criticize people far more talented than you, or screaming at inanimate objects as if that makes a difference in the real world, may seem like normal behaviour to us, but for regular people these tendencies appear, at best, odd. At worst, completely insane. It’s important for us to keep this in mind when those close to us appear to have difficulty understanding why screaming and chanting an ancient curse on a player’s entire family is an appropriate response to a team allowing a short-handed goal.
It’s important for them, however, to try and meet us halfway. While they may not have the same passion we do for the game, it’s only fair that they tolerate our antics or, at the very least, not egg us on. In order to help with this, I’ve created a list of Do’s and Don’ts for supporting the hockey fans in your life. Pass this along to any individuals in your life that don’t, for some reason, have elaborate pre-game rituals and team paraphernalia.
- Do make an effort to support the same team the hockey player in your life supports
- Don’t support the main rivals of that team simply because you think making them enraged is funny
- Do ask questions in order to gain a greater understanding of the sport of hockey
- Don’t ask questions like, “isn’t it kind of stupid that they can’t throw that black thing?”
- Do attempt to console your hockey fan when they get emotional over a big loss
- Don’t laugh at the fact that a grown man is crying like Miley Cyrus’s father at one of her concerts over the result of a game played by people they have never met
- Do try and schedule your activities so that both of you can enjoy what you are each passionate about
- Don’t commandeer the TV indefinitely and re-name Saturdays, “Cajun Pawn Stars Night in Canada”
- Do pretend you didn’t see them gently caressing a picture of their favourite player
- Don’t ever bring that up to anyone
What other advice would you have for the non-fans in your life? Comment, Tweet, or do something with SnapChat, because apparently that’s a thing now and I want to appear hip and relevant.